It's no secret that there are parallels between wooing a donor and a date. So how well do the rules of dating apply to your donor relationships? Here's a two-part #ThroughNonProfitEyes look at TopDatingTips.com's dating rules. Part I was about the Do's of dating and Part II dives into the Don'ts (a few of which did not have good fundraising parallels and were, therefore, excluded):
Part II: Dating Rules -- Don'ts
3. Don't be late for a date.
1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency).
Just like a new love interest, a new donor should be treated as if they may disappear for someone better at any second. Smothering a new donor with too many appeals or emails can be a big turn-off, but so can no communication at all. Say thank you, illustrate impact, but don't ask too much too often.
2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past.
2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past.
Like in the "Do's" section, where I suggested using data models to find those most likely to support your organization, you can do the same to find those least likely to give. You can then remove them from your appeals, if you need a way to limit your costs.
3. Don't be late for a date.
A friend of mine once discussed having made gifts to her and her husband's three combined alma maters on the same day. One sent them a thank you note in less than a week, one in two weeks and one in six weeks. Don't be late with your stewardship efforts.
4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it.
This should go without saying, but be honest and transparent in your communications. Imagine a donor giving to an annual fund and thinking that she is supporting student scholarships or food for a soup kitchen and later learning that the funds were actually going to fund a fancy board meeting - not the news your organization would be looking for.
5. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date.
If you do make a mistake in your constituent communications, own the error and be polite. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere - on a date or with donors & prospects.
6. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date.
Okay, on this one I am actually going with the opposite - make sure your appeals, communication pieces... everything, has contact information for your organization available for the recipient.
7. Don't have sex on a first date.
I have worked with nonprofits that celebrate every gift. It is good & important to appreciate every gift. However, if you steward your $10 donors like they are $10M donors, you are going to create extremely high stewardship expectations or - worse - make the donor question your use of the charitable support. So... don't give everything you have in your stewardship toolbox away to donors right away.
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